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Archive for the ‘Jokes’ Category

A few years back, the top-notch Wings forum at letsgowings.com featured a thread that graded the team at the halfway point of the season. Entries featured the classic blind loyalty of straight A+ grades, to the equally classic bashing of the favourite whipping boys at the time (names like Boyd Deveraux and Robert Lang come to mind).

While nobody went as far as to give a grade to Karen Newman, there was a scathing grade given to a key member of the organization. The “JLA Music Guy” was given an F. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t be the first to give Matt Ellis an A+ based on his moxy, but an F is pretty harsh for the music guy.

Here is a guy who puts some thought into his work. Yes.. I know that every rink plays the Dragnet clip after a penalty.. but JLA Music Guy goes far beyond this tired cliche. I mean faaaaar beyond. Most Wings fans will forever be in love with the Irish Jig, otherwise known as the “Irish Washer Woman”, that echoed throughout the Joe after a Shanny goal.

The astute listener will catch a wift of “Feels Like the First Time” after a first goal in a career. This obviously requires some basic advanced scouting. Who can forget the Tyson Nash treatment? “Signs” by the Three Five Man Electrical band reminded Mr. Nash that “long haired freaky looking people need not apply”. Fair enough. JLA Music Guy not only loves classic rock, but evidently yearns for the pop-hip-hop styles of the early 90’s. Draper goals are followed by a plea from Kriss-Kross to “warm it up Kris”. No word yet on whether Draper has replied with a frustrated “I’M ABOUT TO!”.

Other favourites include “He’s So Fine (Doo Lang)” for Lang goals and “I Can See Clearly Now” for Cleary goals. “Wide Open Spaces” reminds opposing teams that they have pulled their goalie. Saturday night games feature the predictable “Piano Man” at exactly 9:00, because its “9:00 on a Saturday”… you get the idea.

But the hall of fame moment came earlier this year. This tidbit comes via my brother, who was at the game and swears that he did not make this up. With eight seconds left in overtime, JLA Music guy played “Over My Head”.. featuring the line “Eight seconds left in Overtime”. Digest that for a second. That is top quality work. The moment presented itself.. perhaps for the first or second time in this guy’s career.. and he seized it.

My friends.. JLA music guy is the definition of A+. Matt Ellis.. eat your heart out.

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Odd Dance Partners

Umm.. not quite sure what to say about this. A must see to say the least.

Chelios and Bettman cutting up the rug.

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The New York Post’s Page Six is reporting that Brendan Shanhan and Sean Avery may land roles in the upcoming comedy The Love Guru (written by Mike Myers). While Shanny seems like a fine choice, my wife would argue that Darcy Tucker is the real NHL love guru.. but I digress. Others slated to play opposite Shanny include Justine Timberlake, Jessica Alba, and none other than Verne Troyer (aka Mini Me).

I can only imagine the comedy that could result from such a bizarre collection of characters thespians. Look for Shanny to break out of his typecast as a mere extra (Forrest Gump, Me Myself and Irene). Of course Sean Avery reached an ironic level of success playing an anti-francophone goon in The Rocket. IMDB lists the plot synopsis as “empty”.. insert your own joke here. I know I’ll be milling around the Toronto filming locations hoping to catch Shanny and JT exchanging trade secrets.

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